


That One Night

by spaceorphan



Series: sketches and prompt fills [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: Crack, Drunken Shenanigans, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-25 01:45:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17112107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceorphan/pseuds/spaceorphan
Summary: This is what I would have preferred over what we got with Previously Unaired Christmas.  The Glee kids wake up and aren't exactly sure what happened the night before - but whatever it was, it was weird...





	That One Night

**Author's Note:**

> While I was going through things, I found this ancient piece of writing. This isn’t really about Christmas – it’s about them being silly. Takes place season 5. Enjoy!!

Kurt slowly stirs after what felt like a very hazy and strange dream. His head feels foggy, and he doesn’t know what he had been dreaming about, only that involved zombies and the distinct smell of raspberries. Thinking it’s only a dream, Kurt starts to drift off again. As habit, he blindly reaches out for his fiance on the bed next to him, wrapping one arm around his waist, and pulling in to cuddle close. Something immediately feels off. 

Kurt runs a hand over Blaine’s side and notices that Blaine’s hips feel more rounded, that the waist feels smaller, and– Yup, that definitely feels like a boob. Kurt forces one eyelid open to figure out this strange mystery of why Blaine suddenly has boobs. His brain is still clouded, though, so it takes a moment for it to dawn on him that it isn’t Blaine in his bed. It’s Santana. The second that thought sinks in, Kurt shoots up, and removes his hand from her body. 

Santana grumbles in her sleep, wildly throwing an arm at him as if to push him away as she rolls onto her stomach. “Quit gropping me, I’m not giving you a blow job,” she mumbles into the pillow. He waits to move, fearing she’ll try to hurt him more in her sleep, but she’s back to snoring ina matter of seconds. He notes that Santana’s hair is stringy and greasy, and that she has a fair amount of glitter on her face that sparkles in the ray of sunlight that streams through the window. 

What the hell happened last night? Kurt moves off the bed, thinking he should figure out where Blaine went to. As he stands, he feels a feather under his foot. He reaches down to grab a pair of angel wings Rachel had used for once of her recent plays. 

Not thinking much of it, he throws it on the bed next to Santana. The second he opens the partition into the main part of the loft, he sees that it is a complete disaster. The furniture has been pushed to the side. 

The Christmas tree is bent, the lights blinking arhythmically, and the bulbs dangling dangerously low. In the middle of the room is a large tent made out of all the blankets and pillows. He can see two sets of toes poking out from the tent, one set with purple nail polish, which belongs to Rachel, and the other a pair of long, pale ones that had to belong to Sam. Not wanting to know what was under the blankets, he continues his search for Blaine. 

He finally finds Blaine, curled up on Santana’s bed at the far end of the loft, surrounded by at least a dozen puppets he hasn’t seen since Blaine had made them in high school. Blaine is smiling peacefully in his sleep, using the Santana puppet as a pillow, and clutching the Kurt puppet to his chest. It might have been endearing if it hadn’t been so damn creepy. 

“Blaine,” Kurt shakes Blaine’s shoulder. “Wake up.”

Blaine snuggles the Kurt puppet harder. “Just a few more minutes.” 

“Blaine, that’s not me.” Kurt wrestles the puppet out of Blaine’s arms, which gets Blaine to sit up.

“Kurt?” Blaine rubs his eyes as if the sunlight hurt. “Where am I?”

“Santana’s room.” 

“What? How did I–” He stops suddenly, startled when he looks up at Kurt. “What did you do to your face?”

Confused, Kurt turns to the mirror on Santana’s vanity, and is shocked to see that his entire face was covered in white powder, with the exception of the dark eyeliner around his eyes. 

Like Santana, he has a fair amount of glitter all over his body, but not just gold as Santana had, but silver, red, and purple as well. His hair sticks straight up, and is matted on one side where he had been sleeping up it. 

“What time is it?” Blaine asks, feeling around for his phone that had fallen a foot under the bed. “That’s weird. I have, like, fifty facebook notifications. What the…?” 

Kurt is too busy examining the white streaks in his hair, hoping to god he had used the Halloween spraypaint they had not some damaging chemical to notice Blaine’s worried look. It’s only when Blaine starts tugging at his shirt that Kurt turns to pay attention. 

“I think Artie posted a video of something from last night,” Blaine said. Kurt pushes a puppet off the bed to make room next to Blaine so that he can sit and view the tiny screen. 

There are at least fifty likes on the video, and judging from the comments, Kurt isn’t so sure he wants to know what the video is. Blaine pushes play. Rachel and Blaine immediately come into focus. They each have two puppets in their hands, and are jumping around in circles while singing Cindy Lauper’s ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ both of them in high-pitched, screeching voices. The bounce the puppets around and off each other as they sing. 

Kurt notices the unused puppets sit in a nice row to watch the performance. As Rachel and Blaine sing, Sam hurriedly crosses across the camera, pillows in his hands, and talking quickly. You don’t understand, the dust from the meteor is from an alien planet, and that’s what turns everyone into zombies. The camera pans, and Kurt lets out an audible gasp as he sees himself, stripped down to his underwear and a white t-shirt while wearing the angel wings. 

“With enough hair product, I might be able to give you an authentic beehive and I won’t even have to use any bobby pins,” he hears himself say. “Let me find Blaine’s hair gel.” 

Santana groans as he gets up to leave. “Come baaack, Kurt. I haven’t finished making you into a real fairy yet.”

 The camera pans back to Rachel and Blaine, marching in a circle with the puppets held high above their heads as they break into the chorus. 

Blaine stops suddenly, and Rachel runs right into him, then crumples to the floor in laughter. Sam comes across the screen again with more pillows, and throws them on the floor. He then faces the camera with his hands held out frantically. 

“So, that’s why I have to show you a model of the underground bunker I’m designing. So those of that are smart will be safe! Are you getting this Artie?” Sam says. 

“Oh, I am.” The camera swings around to Artie, who has a pleased smile on his face. “ Merry Christmas from New York!” He says before the screen goes black. 

Kurt and Blaine’s jaws slowly drop as they turn to look at each other. 


End file.
